I don’t have much experience in maintaining a relationship, but this one is completely different to my previous two, I think the goal is simply different. It’s not about how much love or attention I get, it’s about creating lasting mutual happiness, it’s about making sure he’s happy while I’m happy. So I’ve never asked questions like did you miss me or did you love me, and I don’t think I ever will. I always asked if you had fun and if I had fun.
The relationship goes very fast, basically I mentioned the intention after our first meeting, so on the second day, when we went out for dinner for the first time, we already kissed in the restaurant. The way we spent time together was more like a married couple than young lovers. I didn’t get to fuck him in the first few days either, the whole thing isn’t driven or accelerated by sex at all. A friend wondered if the L-word was said, and yes, I said it when I bred him for the first time, that was after we had spent quite a lot of time together and introduced him to all my friends. We’ve done so many things when we’ve been together, I can’t imagine how many things we’ve done, how many places we’ve been in just 2 weeks, apart from working, and I’ve already got so many more ideas for the future.
This relationship with him is a big step in my life as it’s the first one after I settled in my new home Australia, it’s like my new exploration with all the relationships between me and the outside world. My relationship between Ruby, Hansen, Sam, Mr Su got a huge boost from my side, and even between me and my mum, we finally broke through the semi-sheer paper wall between us, that she finally told me everything in her mind. This is really the first time I’ve ever really loved someone instead of playing a relationship as a game, and even if we didn’t end up together, I think it would be the most important thing in my whole life, a monument moment for me.
From the first night we never slept under the same blanket, I’m totally okay with that because I’m not a cuddling person all night long, I need genuine nice undisturbed sleep, and I’m becoming so tolerant, so nice and gentle with everything, so kind to everyone. I’ve developed the intention to help everyone and make everyone happy since I met him, so I’m really grateful for all these things that have happened in my life, it’s completely changed me in just ten days, but there’s so much more to come in the future.
Thanks to my ADHD, I have already thought about so much and have so many ideas that I can use in the future. We have been chatting a lot and the other night I was thinking about the wedding and we were chatting about that too. The wedding post I made is the reason why my mum decided to open her heart to me (by saying no).
Now I get to know him more and I like him more too, I met his friend too, I finally found out something that I have to compromise on is that he doesn’t like avocados, so I can’t share yummy guacamole with him in the future, but that’s fine because we can enjoy what we like and then share some common things together, exactly like everything else in life, he played his games with friends, I do my studies, then we can spend time together. Other than that, I couldn’t even think of anything bad, but Zhenyu reminded me today lol, what if his parents don’t like me, haha, I don’t know? What should I do? Haha.
What I wrote on social media earlier this week:
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It’s been exactly a week since our first meeting last Wednesday night, we’ve hardly been apart since our first meeting. We have spent 123 hours together. He has met (almost) all my closest friends and I have met his sister by chance. We have been to so many places, done so many things.
Things that happened before seem like ages ago. I didn’t know that one week could completely change your life, but actually I haven’t changed anything for him, not even a single plan for the future, but I believe that the short separations in the future won’t be a problem if we are meant to be together.
I have ideas, but I haven’t planned anything with him for the future, but now all I think about is the future with him. Meeting him is the best thing that has happened to my life apart from becoming an Australian. I’m the best and the most mature I’ve ever been and I have complete confidence in the future.
Ruby said we could make a film about our stories, but to be honest, I didn’t really find anything theatrical and dramatic, it’s just how ordinary people met and fell in love.
Now we’re going to be separated for a while, but I’ve already got all my thoughts sorted, I can’t wait to see him again very soon and do more things, explore more of the world together. I’m not really sad at all because I have such golden memories and we’re going to create so much more. I have to build a strong life for myself, I hope he does too, then we can share some parts of life too.
Love you, Mr Bear 🐻❄️
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