Ruby moved in with Sam after living here for almost three years today, and I decided to visit Sam after work for dinner. While driving there, I suddenly realised I’ve been eating at home more than eating out in the past few weeks. At that moment, I realised that without noticing, my life has completely changed—both in the outside world and within myself.
The title of my final Toastmasters speech for this year is “Challenging and Rewarding”. Reflecting on all the changes and opportunities this year, even though I didn’t plan for them or expect them, this year has brought the biggest changes of my adult life in every aspect. I don’t need to mention the obvious changes, like going back to university, making great strides in my professional development, and strengthening my community connections through work, volunteering, and internships. But it’s the changes within me—my relationship with the outside world and the way I connect with others—that have truly transformed.
In the second half of the year, the relationships I have with my family, close friends, and people in the community have shifted significantly. And, on top of all that, I got into a relationship—a milestone that feels like a defining moment in my life. This relationship, along with the changes in how I relate to others and how I approach my mental health, has taken my life into a completely new stage. It feels entirely different from previous relationships. Without even realising it, I’ve been adjusting to this new chapter. I’ve developed a deeper understanding of human connection and come to appreciate just how important certain people are to me. I want to care for, love, and be loved by the most important people in my life.
Even the way I socialise has changed. Everything seems to have happened at the right time. I met this person at the best time in my life—when I felt everything was going better than ever. I’m the most confident I’ve ever been (even at my heaviest weight, haha). Most importantly, I felt ready for something new. Years of practice and effort in building interpersonal and communication skills through meeting people and working hard finally paid off. When I was ready, meeting this person naturally pushed my life into the next stage.
I’ve also started cooking, partly because Ruby moving out increased my financial responsibilities. But I’ve discovered the benefits of cooking at home—it saves time, is healthier, gives me control over what I eat, and allows me to enjoy meals whenever I want. Cooking has become more than just a task for myself. I can share meals with my partner or bring food to friends. It’s a small reflection of the broader changes in my life, including my outlook on life, my sense of self, and my connection to the world around me.
Importantly, my mental health has taken a huge step forward. In September, I started learning about my attachment issues, and by October and November, I began addressing the challenges that came up in my relationship. In December, I decided to prioritise my mental health above all else. I’ve gained a profound understanding of myself, started self-therapy with various techniques, and sought professional help with support from loved ones. The change has been remarkable. I feel more emotionally stable than ever, more secure in my relationships, and better equipped to handle different situations.
The reason everything still feels familiar despite these changes might be because what I want to do hasn’t changed. In the short term, I still focus on studying languages (English, Spanish, and Japanese) every day, working out to become healthier and more confident, spending time with friends, and planning my next trip while enjoying nature and art. Long-term goals remain the same too. Even though life is less predictable now that I’m not entirely on my own, I still aim to experience different cultures and lifestyles by living in various countries for short periods, while developing a career I love. I’m working on exchanges, the NCP, volunteering for a world cruise, and exploring global opportunities—all while improving my skills and abilities.
My mindfulness practice has also come a long way. I’ve stopped living in the future, which has been the biggest change for me this year. By focusing on the present moment, I’ve tackled mental health challenges like relationship anxiety and ADHD tendencies. It’s been a lot of hard work to get here, but I have so much to celebrate. Life feels like the best it’s ever been, every single day.
So, the best thing I can do now is to enjoy today as much as possible and do my best to make tomorrow even better. While my goals remain the same, everything else has changed. More development and changes will likely come next year, but for now—welcome to the next stage of life, Tommy. Take a deep breath, celebrate, stay calm, and focus.